Dear Diary,

I sometimes don’t know what is wrong with me. But then, I realize. My problem is that I want to be on the right path, and I think I am, but I don’t like change.  I don’t like to move forward on my chosen path, because I’m afraid of the changes that are coming at me all-too-fast. I’m afraid of facing them, of facing the new challenges that I must take head-on to go on. But, I also am afraid of moving backwards, of retracing my steps, of letting all that I’ve achieved over the years to go to waste. Sure, the experience will still be with me, but I’m a proud person. I don’t have much self-esteem, but I still harbour pride. I know they’re kind-of synonyms, but it is different for me. I am a power-hungry person, I like power, and being at the top-most position, being well-liked, being the most successful, and I very well know that it’s physically not possible to be the best in every which way. But I can’t convince myself of that. The only belief that’s stayed with me over the years, with changing decisions about careers and people, is that I crave success. I want to be successful. Of course that desire of mine is influenced by a number of reasons, and responsibilities, but all the same, I want to be at the top. I have always. And now that I think about it, I have come a long way on this path that I’ve chosen, and at some point in time, I’ve definitely had to face my fears, and change, and challenges, and possibilities, and obstacles to have moved ahead and come to where I am. And I guess, since I’ve been able to do it before, I will be able to do it again. After all, half of bravery is perspective.